The 20 Kinds of Book Readers (According to A Bookworm)

If you're an avid reader and you have friends who share the same hobby, you should know that not all bookworms are the same. We have different styles, preferences, pace, etc. So I've listed down the most common ones I've come across in hopes that you could relate to these [somewhat] apt descriptions. 

P. S. Do try to figure out where you fit in after reading all of them. You might be surprised at the number of groups you find yourself relating to. 

1. Samantha "Snob" Sanchez

They are our mortal enemy. Maybe that's stretching it out a bit, but these are people who cannot understand why we like to read. You tell them you can't go out because you're finishing a book and he/she looks at you all weird and rants about how boring reading is. 

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Uhm, maybe you're just jealous because your imagination is non-existent. Am I right? Can I get some hands?

2. Alexa "Audiobook"

I have absolutely nothing against audiobooks, and I think that they're pretty useful, but I just get annoyed when I suddenly find myself in a conversation with someone who says they love reading but then find out they don't actually read books ... they listen to it. 

I try to jokingly point it out, and they tell me, "It's the same thing." Then I'm like...

Ex Boyfriend Recovery

3. "Hoarder" Houdini

These folks buy books faster than a magician can say "Abracadabra". And they don't -- can't -- settle for just one or two ... They need to buy A LOT. If they get one part of a series, they need to buy it all. When you tell them that they already have tons of books they haven't even read yet, they go...

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4. "Emotional" Emma

You either know one or you are one. You're the type who gets so attached to a story and its characters that you feel what they feel: happiness, sadness, anger, lust maybe? When you write reviews, you usually base what you write on your feelings about the book. It's okay, I am one too. 

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5. "Speedy" Gonzales

These are also my people. We read like someone's going to steal our book from us. A 700-page novel? Yeah, that's not really going to take long. A fantastic trilogy? We'll start today and let you know how we liked all of them by tomorrow. If speed-reading is a sport in the Olympics, we would be champions. But this comes with a price: We sometimes forget faster than others. 

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6. "Slow"-rida

Obviously the complete opposite of Speedy Gonzales, the "Slow"-ridas like taking their sweet time in reading their books. They really bathe in the information, and they like going back through lines they've already read. It's also easier for them to remember the details of the story as well as all the significant characters. They're what we would call, relaxed readers. Word of caution though: Do not lend them books, especially those that you like to re-read. Why? You probably won't see them again for at least a year or so.

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7. Dr Spencer Reid or Dr Sheldon Cooper

If you didn't get that, you have to get out more. They are the know-it-alls. They're like robots pretending to be human just so they can make us feel inferior. They read fast, they completely understand what they read, and they can even quote you lines from the book. They're freaking annoying, but you love them because they're just awesome. It's a strong love-hate relationship. 

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8. Cristopher Mc"Critic"

He is the Anton Ego to your Auguste Gusteau (from Ratatouille). They are [mostly] never satisfied and feel no shame in letting people know that they did not like the book they've read. They don't care about haters because they hold on to the belief that we are all entitled to our own opinions. But hey! If they really liked a book, they can write the longest and most colourful reviews. 

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9. Corina "Cover Lover"  

I am 60% a Corina "Cover Lover". I am guilty of judging a book by its cover, and more often than not, I pass up on ones I don't like the cover of. But come on, you have to admit that you are one too, even if it's just a small part. Don't you go rolling your eyes at me! 

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10. "Devoted" Danny

This is the stalker-type reader. He is subscribed to his favourite author's newsletter, is updated with the latest news on what they're writing, and reads or have read ALL of the books his favourite author wrote. In his eyes, his idol can do (or write) no wrong. 

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11. Sharon "Sharer"

There are two types of "Sharon's": First is the sweet kind because they're nice enough to recommend books that they've finished reading and thinks would suit your preference. The second one is kind of suffocating because they shove books down your throat -- figuratively of course -- whether you like it or not. Mixed feelings about them.

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12. Noah's "ARC"

We all wouldn't mind receiving free books, right? But the folks in this category could be compared to extreme couponers. They get ARCs like there's no tomorrow, and they grab an opportunity to get free books as soon as they can. 

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Nothing wrong with it though because a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, am I right?

13. "Compulsive" Cody

They don't really have a preference. They read anything and everything by anyone. They browse books, not really looking for anything in particular and they just make a decision to purchase one on the spot. *In hushed tones* Between you and me, they're kinda like book hoes. 

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YIKES! Sorry about that. I love all the "Compulsive" Codys out there.

14. The Big Bang Theory Gang

Who doesn't watch this show? Shame on you!!! For those who are familiar with it, I have a question. Aside from being geniuses and socially inept, what do Howard, Raj, Lennard, and Sheldon have in common? (For those not following, think about the group of really nerdy-nerds in your high school who talks about Star Wars and superheroes all day.) ANSWER: They all LOVE COMIC BOOKS!

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They prefer the "POW!" "Kaboosh!" and "Thump" that goes with the drawings than endless words on white paper. 

15. Sandy "Spoiler"

These people don't like surprises. They like knowing what to expect in the book they're going to read, so they thoroughly go through customer reviews in hopes that someone will give away what happens in the story. More often than not, they would also jump to the end of the book, then only start reading when they're satisfied with how it ended. 

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16. Harry "Spoiler-Hater" Potter

Obviously, this is the EXACT opposite of Sandy "Spoiler". These readers try to avoid reviews with dead giveaways of how a story would unfold, and they usually throw a fit when someone tells them a vital part of a book that they're planning on or currently reading.

Consider yourself warned.

17. Skipper Mc"Skim"

Do you know someone who tends to skip parts of a book if they find it irrelevant or uninteresting? Yeah, well they fall into this category. They don't mind missing a few details just as long as they get to the "important" parts faster.

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Pfft. Bit** please. Every scene is important.

18. Chandler "Character" Bing

The Chandlers are people who focus on the characters and the connection they can form with them. Stories come secondary. Most of the time, if they don't like the leads, they don't even bother finishing the book. They're all like...

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19. Phineas "Finisher"

So who am I talking about here? These very dedicated readers always finish the books they start. ALWAYS. No matter how much it sucks. They might skim or skip a few pages, but the bottom line is, they make sure to get to the last page. They pride themselves on that. 

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20. The "One More Chapter" Reader

I don't even have to think of a name to go with this. Nor am I going to explain it further. Just answer this, is this you? I already know the answer buddy. Fist-bump!

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Did you find where you belong? Griffindor, Slytherin -- oh! Sorry. Anyway, the point is, no matter what your reading style is or how you perceive books, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There's always someone who shares your passion as well as your quirks. Reading is a great way to get lost in another world, but it also helps us connect to more people in this world. Make the most out of it! Read and be free!! Peace out.